we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Someone signed my nipple.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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