counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
