well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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