I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
