He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
