I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That's how pantless uber rides happen
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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