You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
