I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
