I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
