Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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