If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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