then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
