Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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