I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
soo... how was my night?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize