Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
