This is not my ceiling
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
