Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
