i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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