How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
