my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
