There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
