Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
