Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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