ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
