Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
