god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
