Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
