When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
