people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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