I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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