There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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