She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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