We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
