yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
