Jerry, you need to find god
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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