i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
