I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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