He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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