Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
