I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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