Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
