I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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