Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
