i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
