She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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