Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
