How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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