I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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