halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
