If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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